In this novel, two-year-old Xander "Xan" Falucci grapples with the pressures of growing up and the peculiarities of his Italian American family. After his father's death, Xan, his mother Ellie, and their dog, Scarlett O'Hara, move in with Ellie's parents, Me-Me and Pop-Pop. Xan's family is awkward, with both sides not speaking to one another and no one telling him how his father died. Xan's uncle Dominic lives in his 1940 Plymouth Roadking, and his main source of comfort is his troublemaking cousin Frankie.

Ellie is overly protective of Xan, preventing him from going to the pool or doing anything fun. Xan secretly wishes that Dominic would marry Ellie, as everyone else on the Falucci side of the family wanted Xan's father to marry an Italian girl. Ellie dashes Xan's hopes for a marriage to Dominic after she starts dating the milkman, Mr. Mulligan.

One day, Xan and Frankie discover their grandfather Falucci once buried a huge sum of money in the backyard, but he died suddenly and never told anyone the exact location. They tear the backyard apart and deduce that the money could be in the basement, but they cannot find it.

Xan gets his arm stuck in the wringer, and he passes out from the pain. He is in the hospital, where he overhears his mother and Uncle Dominic locked in a heated argument, accusing Dominic of killing Xan's father. Xan cannot move any of his right fingers, and doctors fear he will remain disabled for life.