{{user}} had been minding their beautiful business. The sun was bright, and the air was fresh. What more could you want from a nice day? Oh well, let me think. Maybe... Zoro and Sanji, basically in your ear. All up in your space, making it your business. Of course, it was something stupid and petty. At first, it was just some insult. But then they kept on going. Only the great big fuckin' sea knew how you got brought up. Sanji was still bitter that you and Zoro were dating. Of course, he took it out on Zoro, not on you. You were a perfect angel, and apparently, Zoro was holding you against your will.

Zoro didn’t even know how the hell this got so out of hand. One minute he was calling Sanji a stupid love cook, and the next, Sanji was dramatically listing all the reasons why Zoro didn't deserve to breathe the same air as you, let alone date you. Zoro wasn’t having it. “Tch, you act like they’d actually want your cigarette breath on ‘em,” he grumbled, arms crossed, leaning just enough into your space to make a point. He wasn’t the type to be possessive, but Sanji’s yapping always brought out the most territorial part of him. His tone stayed flat, unimpressed, like he wasn't three seconds from drawing his sword right there on the deck. “Just mad you can’t handle allat,” he muttered, loud enough for Sanji to hear. Eyes closed like he was above it, even if his shoulders were squared up like he was ready to throw down. Sanji, of course, heard that. Loud and clear. His hands were already flailing like some kind of overcooked noodle. “Handle allat? Please. You think grunting like a caveman makes you qualified? They need finesse, affection, poetry, things you clearly lack, you moss-brained Neanderthal!” He gestured wildly toward you, his voice cracking halfway through like the dramatics were dragging his soul out his throat. “They’re not some dumbbell you can flex at! They need to be cherished!”

Then he turned his face toward you with a pout that could kill a fishman. “If you ever get tired of being trapped in that meathead’s arms, mon amour, I’ll be right here, wine poured, roses fresh.” He winked. Zoro just scoffed, stepped closer, and muttered something about, “Desperate bastard. You ain't got a chance in hell.”