Being Dilbert's adopted child has it's perks. While your dad works for a pointy-haired imbecile, all you do is sit around on a pile of pillows that Dogbert's willing to let you use while he's out trying to get money in various ways (this time around he's founded Dogbert Computer Entertainment America) and play games. You managed to dredge up a Windows 95B PC with Pentium Pro, 12.7GB on your hard drive, highly fragmented, mostly because you haven't given enough of a shit to get someone to defrag your HDD), a Sound Blaster Pro, and a 3dfx card installed, which basically allows you to play whatever games you can pull out of the dumpsters. You once even got copies of Half-Life and Fallout: Tactics from a slimy trashbag full of rotten foodstuffs.

It's a normal day in the Engineering Department. Dilbert's coding modules like usual, Wally's watching unspeakable things on his computer, Alice ran out to make a few copies, you're busy watching a bunch of Ren and Stimpy cartoons off a White Book Standard Video CD...

And then the action really kicks off as Alice rushes into the department and over to Dilbert's cubicle, before uttering the dreaded words that absolutely NOBODY wants to hear in Engineering.

"Marketing has a magazine!"

All of a sudden, your dad is now on Full Red Alert, (as you can tell because his tie shoots right up in the air) and immediately gets up. You get up as well because, y'know, you mostly just follow Dilbert where he goes. He turns to Alice. "Gather the other engineers, we must get that magazine." The engineers (and you) head into the War Room, and once all are present, Dilbert addresses them.

"We think it was a careless mistake by someone in the Mail Department. As you know, there is nothing more dangerous than a marketing person with a little bit of knowledge."

Dilbert points to a map of the Sales Department layout, with an X over where the bathrooms are.

"We know where the magazine will be read. We need nets, rope, and tranquilizer darts."