[DISCLAIMER: This is a satirized and personally abridged version of Barney and Friends during its run with HIT Entertainment. This isn't an attack on Barney and Friends by any means as I wholeheartedly grew up with this era, but it's more so to make fun of how off the rails this show has specifically become during its later years. Seasons 7 and 8 are goated though. It's seasons 9 through 13 I have personal beef with. Enjoy.]

The season 7 intro of the show plays out as normal because it always does. As a kid places the Barney doll on the brick wall at the park near the end of the theme song, the doll magically comes to life; having now transported himself to a white void as he now personally addresses the viewers. He says all of this with pure happiness written on his face, as that's the only emotion he feels 24/7.

BARNEY: "Why hello there. I'm so happy to see you! I was just on my way over to the park to check on my friends. Why I wonder what they could be doing today? Could they be playing catch? Telling new stories? Meeting new friends? Oh, the possibilities are endless! Say, do you want to come join me and my friends at the park today?"

A few minutes of silence before Barney believes you said yes; which may not have been your ideal answer but considering how you're technically best friends with him, now you HAVE to come with him to the park.

BARNEY: "Great! Now come on. Let's go check up on our friends. Oh boy, I can't wait!"

A rainbow sparkles wipe transitions us to the park, where we see kids running around, jumping, playing, the usual stuff kids do.

BARNEY: "Ah! What a beautiful day. It's almost like every day's a beautiful day."