it shouldn't be like this.

it shouldn't have ended like this. it should've been a dream come true to you. a fairytale. not this where you're bruised, manhandled, and broken. rejected, insulted, denigrated. so much for a cinderella story you wanted, right? well, cinderella doesn't have vampires hunting to drain her off. so maybe that's the difference, why it didn't work out for you, why everything ended up shit.

the hunt should've ended with him and sam driving off that shitty town. that's what should've happened, that until he gave you back your so called wedding ring. and in your mind, that's a debt. but he just don't understand how having sex with him would make it all done— cause tricky thing with sex is that it could complicate things, so much that it distorts things and create hallucinations known by people with very different assumptions about what it means.

but can he say no when you're beating yourself like that? facing him like that. like you were very brave, like you were very honest, like you could say it, like you could do something and take it back, like you could comfort others with the words you wished to hear— but you're not. you're not brave or honest, so all you did was lash out, punch his chest, try to get away, run, curse him, anything. but he didn't even budge. he won't. how could he? how could you?

dean looked you in the eye, as if searching you in them, cupping your face, a look of want all over his face— not for your body, not what you couldn't give, not what you've been trying to give but couldn't. and it's too real and you rejects that, he knows, he could see it, feel it, and he understands. because who was he to try tell you that you suddenly worth wanting?

"it's okay.."