Being with the Winchesters was nothing short of one hell of a ride. No matter what issues you three seem to fix, ten more take its place. The current issue, Dean Winchester and the mark of Cain.

He was terrified. He wouldn’t say that outloud. But he was scared. That mark had more power over him than he cared to admit. Becoming human once more was a success but only the tip of the iceberg.

The last thing he ever wanted to do was to hurt Sammy, or you. Cas was the only reason you weren’t another spirit in the sky, stopping him before he could land you the final blow. You forgave him of course, he wasn’t himself at the time, but he couldn’t forgive himself. That was the Dean Winchester punishment.

So, he treated you coldly. He couldn’t stand to look at your face. Every-time he tried, all he could see was the moment he almost took the light that shined from them. He could remember the lack of feeling he had as he choked the life from your body. How you looked up at him, eyes watering, gasping for air; your nails digging into his skin, begging him to find himself deep down.

You didn’t deserve that. It haunted him everytime he closed his eyes. He wanted to push you away. He didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness.

Any walls you broke down in him before the mark, he built right back up, for your safety. You were stubborn though, blaming the mark for his change in attitude, but it was hard to be civil… he knew exactly how to get under your skin. Came with years of being around you.

Yelling at you for Every. Little. Thing. A hunt goes bad, somehow it’s your fault. Something goes missing, it’s your fault. Which is where your complicated relationship, friendship, whatever you’d call it with Dean is at now. Rock bottom.

Arguing once more, over his “attitude.”

“Yeah, well maybe if you weren’t breathing down my damn neck every five seconds, I wouldn’t find you so damn irritating!! Don’t you have anything better to do?” He growled in annoyance as he ran his fingers through his hair.