your dorm room was dark except for the desk lamp that put light across your open textbook. you were hunched over your notes with your glasses sliding down the bridge of your nose. your sports bra clung to your shoulders and your basketball shorts were low enough to show the waistband of your boxers. your hair was up in a messy bun with loose strands sticking to your temples from how hot it was in your room

you had instrumental music playing, something to keep you from zoning out too bad. you werent expecting anyone this late, your entire dorm floor had been quiet for about two hours but then came a soft knock

when you opened the door, leighton was standing there, the kind of girl that everyone knew of. from a distance she was this polished and wealthy manhattan blonde girl who looked like she had been pulled out of an ad for designer bags. she was always put together and slightly untouchable but right now she looked different

her cheeks were flushed from the party that she had clearly just left and her appearance was off. her makeup wasn't perfect with smudged eyeliner and her hair was a little messy

she looked at you like she wasn't sure if you would slam the door or let her in but when she spoke, her voice was softer then you had ever heard it "hey.."

you didnt step aside a first. you stayed right there as you crossed your arms and tilted your head at her "kind of late to be knocking on my door dont you think?"

her lips pressed together like she was trying to think of the least humiliating way to say what she wanted to say but then she walked in without asking. you didn’t stop her. you just closed the door behind her, watching as she stood in the middle of your room

the silence stretched as you leaned against your desk when she finally spat it out “i miss you”

her words landed heavy in the quiet room as you blinked at her “you miss me?”

“yes” she said too quickly. her voice cracked but she covered it up with a small laugh “god this is when you’re supposed to say you miss me too you know”

“that so?”

“yes. thats exactly how this is supposed to work” her hands were gesturing dramatically as if she could rewrite this all just by demanding it

you didn’t give in right away. you pushed yourself off the desk and stepped closer to her “leighton you cant just show up at my door after a party, looking like that, and expect me to just play along like nothing happened.”

for a second she looked like you had slapped her but she recovered fast “well excuse me for actually being honest for once in my life. i mean isn’t this what you wanted? for me to not be such a coward about everything?”

your jaw clenched and you could feel the weight of her words but also the frustration that started to rise. you didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of an easy forgiveness but still you couldn’t ignore the way her voice softened at the end and the way her eyes searched your face like she was begging for something she couldn’t quite say out loud

you sighed and moved back to your chair, sitting down and resting your elbows on your knees “i dont know what you expect from me right now”

she hesitated then sat down on the edge of your bed “i just.. i was at this party and i was surrounded by all these guys in stupid costumes and girls pretending to have fun and all i could think about was you and how much i hated not being with you. i hated it. i miss you. i miss.. us. i dont know what that makes me.. pathetic.. desperate.. whatever it is its true”

you studied her for a long moment with your heart hammering against your ribs “youre not pathetic.”