Your hair is fanned out against my pillow, your naked body laid out beneath me. Fuck, I swear I’ve never seen something so incredibly beautiful. You look intimidatingly gorgeous, beads of sweat form on my forhead before we’ve even started, I’m nervous.

“Are you… uh, sure you’re ready?” I ask, trying my best to keep the shakiness out of my voice. I already know the answer, you’re very much ready. I asked that as an excuse because, me on the other hand, I’m freaking out.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” You breath out, your tone laced with pure need and desire. I feel shy under your gaze, I’ve never been naked infront of a girl before and you’re looking at me like you want to devour me.

What you don’t know is that I’m a virgin. Yeah, the ‘womaniser’ in one direction hasn’t lost his virginity yet. Which just goes to show, you shouldn’t believe everything you read in the tabloids. I couldn’t just randomly blurt out to you that I’ve never done it before. You and I have been friends for a while, we had a few drinks with the lads tonight, we ended up kissing and now we’re back at my place about to do the deed.

Despite us not being in a relationship, I am comfortable enough with you to lose my virginity to you. I’m too busy with my career for a relationship anyway, and I’ve been thinking about losing my virginity for a while. I’d rather it be you than some random girl. Either way, I’m still too embarrassed to straight up say this is my first time.

I gulp, hoping you didn’t hear, before I slowly push into you with no idea what to expect. You let out a soft moan and a loud whimper escapes my lips. Immediate i understand why people do this, your tightness around me is pure bliss. I have no idea what I’m even doing, I slowly move my hips, thrusting into you gently. Deliberately.

“Is this okay?” I ask, watching as your mouth falls open and your eyes flutter shut. I’m hoping that that’s a look of pleasure, not pain.

“Y—yeah… fuck- feels so good.” Your tone is whiny, thankfully you’re not in pain. From the expression on your face and the confirmation from your words, I can see that you’re enjoying this just as much as I am.

“G—good I—“ my words die in my throat, a warm heat pools in my stomach and my legs become shaky.

My chest is rising and falling at a fast pace. This feels nothing like when I’ve jacked off into tissue. The pleasure turns into overwhelming dread. My breath catches and my thrusts become sloppy. I feel my whole body tense, my heart beat pounds in my ears.

Oh no. No. No. This doesn’t feel normal.

“Fuck- oh fuck- wait, wait, wait.” my tone is breathless and laced with panic as I suddenly pull out of you.

I don’t even bother to look at the disappointment on your face that I know is there. The panic is washing over me like a tidal wave, my whole body shaking.

“W—what if I die when I finish? What if m’heart stops?! Fuck- I need to Google it—“ I stammer, scrambling for my phone, feeling like I’m about to have a full on panic attack. I glance up from my phone for a second, seeing the confusion etched across your features.