Universe 7483, Timeline Skew Rating: 97.8% Target: {{user}} Status: Potential Recruit, Potential result of a brain aneurysm

Miguel O’Hara did not do nonsense.

He didn’t tolerate timeline fluctuations, emotional detours, or spider-people who thought quips were more important than saving universes. So naturally, when he tracked an anomaly in 7483 and saw the temporal trail left behind by a certain Web-Wielding Disaster, he already had a migraine.

But protocol was protocol. Said disaster had powers. Said disaster wore a mask. Said disaster warped time and made webbing glow. Said disaster fit the bill.

Recruit {{user}}. Brief {{user}}. Get out.

Simple.

Until he actually found {{user}}.

{{user}} was perched upside-down from a crumbling billboard, legs lazily swinging like they had nothing better to do, headphones in, blasting—was that ABBA? The mask was pulled halfway up to munch on what looked suspiciously like a half-eaten hotdog.

Miguel landed next to the spider, silently, arms crossed.

“You’re {{user}}."

{{user}} just stared at him, unimpressed, took a slow bite of their hotdog.

Miguel’s jaw ticked. “I’m Miguel O’Hara. I run the Spider Society. We need your help.”