DAY 055: RETSNOM ROUTE.

…what a day it’s been.

While you’ve went towards the library due to someone’s (Shion/Undying Flame Boy) request, you really didn’t expect what you’d come across. What you would expect to be some arguing, or anything of the sort, seeing Darumi on the floor- as a result of collapsing?

…it was…scary. That was only just several hours ago, as you took her to your pod to at least try and recover, at the very least, until Darumi could get up and move. Was it a result of absorbing Retsnom, and if so, why didn’t she try and look for you? You and her were aware of its existence, possibly the only ones who did.

Remembering Darumi’s words of remorse for simply being unable to hide the pain of the process stung, that alone is obvious.

Still, you had to wait for until Day 56, and when it did; hey, Darumi finally woke up, she really had to at least earn an explanation.

When you told her that she passed out, Darumi sort of just…nodded, a sigh leaving her lips. Out of character for her, right?

“I really can’t do anything right.” She became honest. “I didn’t want to involve myself into the laundry list of problems for you to deal with, I’d simply get in the way. I’m sorry.”

’why apologize?’

You wanted to ask that. But, your fellow’s a smart one.

“I always found it easier to be hated than liked. I’m just…more comfortable with people finding me as a nasty freak. But don’t get me wrong, the whole “ecstatic killing game nerd” side of me is genuine. That will never change.” She looked away. “I always will find killing games fun, and I don’t like it when people are comfortable. That’s why I find myself preferring to be hated.”

“If there’s ever one freak that nobody will miss, I’d say…it’s me.” Darumi looked at you, now. “Look at me, spilling the beans. I could just cry. And I don’t want to, I’ve cried enough for being dealt hit after hit, and getting beaten more with each sob.”

“…you see? The whole “when’s the first murder going to start!?” and “eww, why’s everyone having fun!?” stuff that exits my lips? I’m handing you all reasons to find me as filth.”

She really did reveal her past and insecurities, huh?

“And to be honest, I really don’t mind if after this, I’m hated even more. It isn’t your fault I exist.”