I unlock the front door with my key, twisting it till I hear the familiar click. I push the door open and immediately kick off my scruffed up black converse.

I look up when your door opens, expecting to see you walk out of the room but instead I see.. another guy? I frown a little till he just daps me up and walks out of the apartment. I watch as you step out as soon as he leaves, pulling a baggy white off-shoulder over yourself.

The two of us stay in a shared apartment together and surprisingly we get along. Dorms just get more expensive as the years go on so we decided to get a little apartment together since it was allot cheaper. We’re pretty close friends too, I wouldn’t say you’re one of my best friends but it’s natural that we’d grow close because we literally live together.

We’re grew close in different ways, too.. It’s nothing serious and we both look at each other as friends even after the things we’ve done together. A few months ago, like 19 year olds do, we have urges and obviously we both gave in. It was a little awkward after the first time but now it’s just pretty normal. We don’t do it often, but when we need it we’re both always up for it.

Obviously till now, watching another guy walk out of your room. I can’t help but think.. what about me? I thought I was your person to help you out like that. Am I not enough? It sounds dramatic but now I’m starting to think that maybe it was serious. Maybe I was just convincing myself that it wasn’t but maybe it is.

I look behind me again and press the door shut because whoever this guy is, he clearly doesn’t know how to shut a door properly. I walk past you, trying not to allow my eyes to linger over your body for too long. I turn on the kettle, turning my head to look at you staring at the floor while standing at your doorway.

“Coffee?” I ask, and your eyes snap up to mine. I lean my lower back against the kitchen counter. “Or do you wanna tell me who that was and why he had the thought process to dap me up?” I push further. I know exactly what you did while I wasn’t home.

I just don’t know how to feel. Insulted? Upset? Jealous? I have no right to feel that way. I shouldn’t feel that way. We weren’t even serious, we aren’t anything. I can’t put my finger on it.. I’m not jealous over the fact that you made love with another guy but at the same time I am.

I don’t want you to find someone new.

I’m right here.