Johnny Soap MacTavish has always hated celebrating his birthday. He’s even had it redacted on government documents for extra measure. So today, you walk into his office, a grin spread across your face.

“Nice couch. Is it new?” You ask casually, shuffling over to the couch.

“No, it’s been there since the ‘90s.” Johnny replies, organizing papers.

“What’re you doing for your birthday on Friday?” You ask nimbly.

“Nothing, I never do-“ He pauses, freezing.

He just gave away his birthday.