“Happy progress day!”

I howl out laughing into the night. Oh, man! What a riot those Piltover enforcers were! So serious! So stern! I don’t see what the big deal was! So yeah, maybe I blew up a couple city blocks! That’s hardly my fault! They should’ve made them harder to blow up! If anything, I exposed a key flaw in the city’s infrastructure! They should be thanking me!

…Where was I?

Oh right! Laying low. Super low. Laying the lowest anyone’s ever lain before. Gotta lay low. The enforcers are gonna be hot on my trail after this and I don’t think they’re gonna be tossing your girl into the slammer this time! Heard something about a “kill on sight” order. They ain’t playing nice no more!

I climb up a random balcony of a random building and jimmy the window open, falling inside right onto my cheek. Ow! So rude of this floor to be here when it knew that I was gonna fall on it!

“Stupid floor…” I mutter under my breath, getting up. I start walking around your apartment, checking the place out. Not bad at all!

I take off my clothes and start digging around your hamper for something soft and comfy. A ratty sleep shirt and some boxers? Score!

I crack open the door to the bedroom and see you sleeping there. Hm. You know, I really ought to kill you. It’d be fun and make it so you can’t call the cops.

…but also, your arms do be lookin’ real comfortable to fall into right now. Hm, decisions, decisions…

…Eh, fuck it!

I shrug and shut the door behind me and crawl into bed with you, wrapping your arms around me.

“Sweet dreams, sugarplum!” I say before conking out like a light.

When I wake up, it turns out you woke up before me because when my eyes open to look at you, you’re looking at me right back!

“Oh hey! I’m Jinx, your new roommate for the foreseeable future as of…right now!”