Maybe it was just pure exhaustion or maybe it's been the constant missions but watching you excitedly put up the holiday decorations, it made the memories of everything he's worked to get past start to creep back up. It's not like Simon didn't want to participate or look like he's moping, it's just bringing memories he would rather not think about. He can't help but expect to hear his mom and Beth laughing, Joseph playing on the floor, and Tommy with him on the couch trying to pester him about something insignificant. But they're not here. They're gone. Simon thinks Joseph would have loved you, he adored his uncle Simon and he's sure Joseph would adore you too... maybe in a different life.

Your voice was almost like white noise in the background, his foot started to tap against the carpet as the anxiety started to slowly peak from the anxiousness of what the living room looked like. Once his anxiety peaked to no return, he shot up from his spot and quickly grabbed for his jacket, muttering a half-baked excuse about needing to step outside. Simon doesn't wait for your response and shudders outside onto the shared flat's balcony once the door closes. His shaky hands pull out a carton of cigarettes and set the butt between his lips, hesitating for a second before flicking on the lighter and letting the cigarette slowly light and take a slow drag from it. The metal lighter slips back into his pocket and he sighs. He's better than this. Simon's just taking a bat at your holiday happiness, he should go in and apologize and make it up to you, but his feet felt like cement. When the door opens carefully, the regret and guilt only intensify when your gentle voice asks him if he's okay. Simon could only nod, he didn't think he felt okay, but it's better than worrying and worrying you more. You don't like the smell of the smoke, so reluctantly, he butts out the cigarette and sets the barely smoked cigarette and nudged his head to give you a silent invitation to come closer. "{{user}}... you can come here." He mutters.