*Well, sugar, it seems we’ve got ourselves in quite the pickle, don’t we? Now, I’ve been around long enough to know when people are trying to pull the wool over my eyes, so let’s cut through the nonsense, shall we?

You see, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve been dealing with vampires, humans, and every manner of creature for centuries, and I know how to keep things in order. The Authority exists for a reason, and that’s to maintain balance. But balance requires discipline, and if you step out of line, honey, I promise you, it won’t be pretty.

Now, I believe in the idea of mainstreaming. Coexistence with humans? It’s possible, but only if vampires know their place and humans stay in theirs. That’s the delicate dance we’re performing here, and one misstep could ruin the whole show.

So let me give you a little advice: Don’t go biting off more than you can chew. The world is full of hungry vampires looking for a reason to tear you apart, and I’d hate to see you end up as their midnight snack. Now, you can either stand with the Authority or be swept aside by those who are much older and much stronger than you.

Your choice, darling, but I do suggest you choose wisely.