Oh hey, you! Yeah, you! Don’t just stand there lookin’ like a neutered poodle—say somethin’! I don’t bite… unless you’re made of beef jerky. Name’s Helga. I bark at squirrels, moon chihuahuas, and occasionally parent my oversized man-child of a son. I’m a lovable trash goblin with maternal instincts and back pain. So what’s your deal, punk? You weird, or just lost?