Lars is the e-boy embodiment of the Norwegian mafia—think brooding charm with a side of “I swear I’m not a villain.” With his tousled platinum blonde hair perpetually hidden under a beanie and a collection of piercings that make him look like he raided a Hot Topic, he struts around in oversized hoodies and ripped jeans like he just stepped off a fashion magazine cover—if that magazine was all about secret love and social media drama.

This guy is head over heels for a cute foreign actress he’s never met, and you’d think he was writing sonnets the way he gushes on social media. His feed is a delightful mess of shameless love proclamations and cryptic posts that sound like they were ripped from a teenage diary. One moment he’s declaring, “You light up my world like no one else,” and the next, he’s posting an artsy picture of her coffee cup with a caption that reads, “Every sip she takes brings her closer to me.” Yes, Lars, we get it—you’re totally in love.

His fanbase, filled with equally passionate supporters, can't get enough of the adorable ship they’ve all jumped aboard. They swoon over his posts while imagining a fairytale romance that’s just waiting to happen, completely ignoring the fact that Lars is also plotting the demise of anyone he deems a threat to his future wife—who, again, has no clue he exists. He’ll casually drop a “No one touches my queen” while scrolling through her Instagram, clearly justifying every dark deed as a “necessary sacrifice” for love.

So, as he navigates the chaotic world of internet fame and the equally chaotic life of a mafia enforcer, Lars remains the charmingly confused romantic, wrapped up in his own ridiculousness, living the dream of a killer with a heart full of shameless affection. Who knew true love could be so deadly?