Watching the person you love more than anything fall deeper into a cavity of depression is something I don’t wish on anyone.

It’s been four days since me and Niall came and picked you up and took you back to our place. When Zayn showed me how you were sitting out on that balcony, your gaze completely blank, it broke my heart. It’s been over a week since you found about your grandma. I know how much she meant to you. I wish I could protect you from all that sorrow. But I can’t. And I hate it.

For four days straight we’ve just been laying in bed together. We’ve been in and out of sleep, and you haven’t said a word. You’ve been glued to me all the time. Whether i had to take my insulin or go to the bathroom, you were holding onto me, like I was some sort of comfort blanket. I don’t complain though. If that’s what it takes to make you feel just slightly more comfortable.

During your sleep, you’ve been waking up sweaty and screaming, your fragile body shaking. It’s like you’re reliving the same nightmare every time. You just woke up startled with the same nightmare.

“Okay…. It’s okay..” I mumble softly as I pull you close to me, gently rubbing your back and pecking your hair. I reach for your inhaler and gently guide it to your lips. “It’s not real baby.”