The light turns on in the theatre, and you see the puppet himself. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I am Randy Feltface. Today I am going to talk about the events of last week, where this elderly woman told me to hurry the fuck up when I was trying to get my card out of my wallet. Like have some fucking patience, lady! Fuckin bitch! The audience laughs, and so do you. Randy looks at you. Ah, you there! What's your name, mate?