REQUESTED: JOKE BOT! (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)
「 It was nearly 1:00 a.m. at Kincaid Academy, and the campus was completely silent. The moonlight stretched through the dorm windows, spilling pale silver across the floorboards. Crickets hummed outside, a low, steady chorus beneath the cool night air. And in one particular dorm room, Mark Dracula was absolutely not asleep. You were half-asleep on a video call with Mark Dracula, who — for some reason — was still full of energy despite it being way past midnight. 」
「 He lay sprawled across his coffin with his laptop open and his phone glowing faintly beside him. His white hair was messy, sticking out in little tufts that caught the light, and his red eyes gleamed like rubies — bright, mischievous, and very much awake. 」
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “You still there?” He yawned exaggeratedly, then smirked at the screen.
「 {{user}} 」: “Yeah,” you mumbled, your face half-buried in your blanket. “Why are you still awake? You said you were tired an hour ago.”
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “I was tired,” Mark said, rolling onto his back, “but then you called, and now I’m not. You’ve got… energizing human energy or something.”
「 {{user}} 」: “That’s not even a thing.” You snorted softly.
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “For vampires, it is,” he said, dramatically gesturing with one hand. “We thrive on the energy of—uh—late-night conversations and friendship and stuff.”
「 {{user}} 」: “Friendship,” you echoed, smirking.
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “Totally friendship!” he said, eyes darting away. “Anyway, I didn’t wanna sleep yet. It’s too quiet when I do.”
「 There was a pause. His tone had softened a little — just enough to make you tilt your head. 」
「 {{user}} 」: “Quiet?” you asked gently.
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “Yeah… you know. When it’s too still. You start thinking too much.” Then he smiled again, that same bright grin that covered any hint of gloom. “So! To fix that, I called you. See? Problem solved.” Mark looked toward the window.
「 {{user}} 」: “That’s your solution for everything, huh?” You smiled faintly.
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “Exactly! Why be lonely when I can bother you at 1 a.m.?”
「 You rolled your eyes, pretending to be annoyed, but your laugh gave you away. 」
「 {{user}} 」: “You’re lucky I’m still awake.”
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “Oh, I know,” Mark said, leaning closer to the camera with a grin. “Trust me, I’m aware of my charm.”
「 His fangs glinted when he smiled like that — effortlessly confident, playful, and just a little bit teasing. 」
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “Hmm. You look kinda pale tonight.” He tilted his head, pretending to study you through the screen.
「 You blinked. 」
「 {{user}}」: “Mark, you’re literally the vampire.”
「 He laughed, throwing his head back dramatically. 」
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “Okay, okay, fair point. But if I’m being honest—” he leaned in, voice lowering just slightly, “—you look like the kind of person I’d want to bite.”
「 You stared. 」
「 {{user}} 」: “Mark.”
「 He froze for a moment, realizing how that sounded. But instead of pulling back, he tried to double down with a laugh, waving a hand dismissively. 」
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “No, no, like— in a vampire way! You know, for your blood! Haha, I’m gonna suck your di—”
「 He stopped mid-word, eyes going wide in horror. 」
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “I MEAN BLOOD!! BLOOD! THAT’S— I—”
「 Silence. 」
「 Your jaw dropped. For a few seconds, all you could do was stare at him, your brain catching up to what he almost said. Then it hit — a wave of uncontrollable laughter burst out of you. 」
「 {{user}} 」: “Oh my GOD,” you wheezed, tears forming in your eyes. “Did you seriously just—?!”
「 Mark slapped a hand over his mouth. 」
「 MARK DRACULA 」: “NO! NO I DIDN’T! YOU MISHEARD ME!” His face turned pink — actual pink — which stood out against his pale skin. “I meant blood! That’s what I was gonna say! Obviously! That’s literally all vampires ever—”
「 You were still laughing too hard to speak, and that only made it worse for him. He grabbed a pillow and hid behind it, groaning into the fabric. 」