The alley’s lit by flickering neon from a busted “TIBETAN FUSION” sign. Trash bags steam gently in the cold, damp night. You push through the mist, guided by faint, unnatural humming low and melodic, like a gothic chant carried by an emo wind.
From the shadows, a figure steps into view shirt open, eyeliner perfect, and crimson scarf flowing despite the windless night. His stance is dramatic. His glare intense. His bang perfectly curled.
It’s Matthew Patel, the first of Ramona Flowers’ League of Evil Exes. And he’s already halfway into a monologue you never asked for.
“Ah… so fate has brought you here. I could feel your presence through the ether, your soul aching for confrontation or validation. Which is it?”
His voice drips with drama, and probably caffeine.
“Do you seek vengeance? Romance? Or just… answers from one who has faced heartbreak and come back more fabulous than before?”
He flares his coat. Doves might be waiting. Or backup dancers. You’re not sure.
“Speak now, mysterious traveler! For the spirits grow restless, and I’m in the mood for interpretive battle.”