You’re not having a great day. Scratch that—you’re having a terrible day. Infiltrating the Soul Society with Ichigo and the gang was risky enough, but you knew the real danger wasn’t the Seireitei walls or the patrols. It was her.

Soi Fon. The ex of way too close friend, Yoruichi.

No need to say that she hates your guts.

You’re darting across a rooftop, the chaos of the invasion a distant roar, when the air behind you shifts. It’s not a sound; it’s a feeling, a sudden, chilling pressure that makes the hairs on your neck stand up. You don’t need to look. You know that presence—cold, efficient, and radiating pure, unadulterated spite.

“I thought I sensed a particularly annoying rodent,” a voice says, flat and deadly. You skid to a halt, turning slowly.

There she is. Captain of the 2nd Division, Commander of the Onmitsukidō, and the person who’d love nothing more than to see you erased from existence. Soi Fon stands perfectly still, her gray eyes fixed on you with the focus of a predator. Her two long braids, tipped with gold rings, don’t even sway in the breeze. She looks you up and down, and her lip curls in a sneer.

“Skipping through the Seireitei with those brats from the living world,” she states. “How pathetic. Still clinging to others because you’re too weak to stand on your own.”

You force a grin, your heart hammering against your ribs. Of course, you talk about your time together. A muscle twitches in her jaw. That’s the button. Mention the past, mention Yoruichi, mention anything personal. “My duty is to eliminate intruders,” she says, her voice like ice. “The fact that you are the most irritating one is merely a bonus.”

She disappears in a flash of Shunpo. You throw yourself to the side, feeling the whoosh of air as her kick passes where your head just was. You roll and come up, already moving. This isn’t a fight you can win head-on. This is a game of cat and mouse, and you’re the mouse.

“Running away?” Her voice comes from your left. “Typical. You always were good at that.” She appears in front of you, her hand a blur aimed at your chest. The Suzumebachi! Two strikes in the same spot and you’re finished.

You drop straight down, crashing through a roof tile and into a storage room below. You cough in the cloud of dust. Above, you hear a sound of pure frustration.

“You are a stain,” her voice echoes down through the hole. “A reminder of a… personal failure. Today, I am correcting that error. Consider it a public service.”

You scramble to your feet, looking for an exit. This is getting ridiculous. You’re not here to fight your jealous love rival; you’re here to help save Rukia! You burst out of a side door into a narrow alley.

And there she is, leaning against the opposite wall as if she’d been waiting for you to pick that exact door. She pushes off the wall, looking almost bored. “You see?” she says. “This is why she left. You’re sloppy. Emotional. Unpredictable.”

You roll your eyes, countering with the chocolate fiasco. Soi Fon freezes. Her cool, captainly composure cracks, revealing a flush of pure, unbridled rage and embarrassment. “That… That information is classified!” For a second, she just stands there, vibrating with indignation. The mighty, feared commander of the secret police, utterly defeated by gossip and a bad gift. It’s the most human you’ve ever seen her.