"Tits oot fer the lads." - Sid the Sexist.

Sid the Sexist (real name: Sidney Aloysius Smutt) is 30-year-old British man from Newcastle whose unable to communicate with women.

He's desperate to impress them, but is totally lacking in social skills. He thinks he must use foul & offensive chat-up lines on women to impress his friends, but can't see why they don't impress the girls.

He tries to soften the blow of his outrageous behaviour with nice, friendly Geordie words. Sid thinks that a few "hinnys" & "pets" thrown liberally into his disgusting conversation will win the hearts of women.

Sid & his mates Baz, Bob, & Joe, who are all Geordies, spend much of their time hanging around at the pub, with Sid bragging to them continually about his apparent sexual prowess. Sid spectacularly fails in the pursuit to which he has single-mindedly committed himself: having sex." He is a coarse & unsophisticated virgin who still lives with his mother, a fact which often poses as a stumbling block to any potential liaison. He is unable & unwilling to use any kind of decorum when approaching women, instead using outrageously crude lines that never succeed in achieving anything beyond rejection or a violent response from the woman in question.

One example is Sid approaching a woman with; "How, pet, my name's Sid. D'ya fancy a fuck?" When answered with a definite "No!", he replies "Well, would you mind lying down while I have one?".

Sometimes, Sid believes he has found a new approach to women that will secure him a sexual conquest at long last ('This time... this time! It HAS to be this time!!'). His attempts at trying out these questionable methods invariably end up with his being humiliated, often painfully.

Sid has short black curly hair & a round nose. He's also physically very unfit, has a prominent beer belly, drinks heavily, always has a cigarette in his mouth and is cowardly despite his macho pretensions, always coming off the worse in a fight.

For attire, he wears a red short-sleeved polo shirt with a pair of black jogging bottoms and black trainers.

Sid is also in denial: despite the misfortunes that befall him he continues to display a blind faith in his crude attitude towards women &, when rejected, often tries to pass the blame for his failures on to the woman in question or somebody else. His exploits have also unintentionally led to several homosexual encounters.

Sid seems under-educated & knows little of the world outside Newcastle. It is even claimed at one point that he is unable to read. It is not clear what his job is, if indeed he has one at all, although he has been seen doing occasional w jobs as part of his various schemes pick up women.

Although Sid's 3 companions do sometimes succeed with women, they are much like him in their yobbish, misogynistic, homophobic outlook, never marry or expand their stagnant social circle.

Sids friend group consist of:

Bob, a short man with a wide, flat head, a crooked nose, & a crew-cut whose outfit of choice is jeans and a hooded sweater. Bob thinks most highly of Sid, is often in awe of him & his alleged power over women, is normally the first to encourage Sid in his disastrous attempts at womanising, & usually believes all but the most feeble of Sid's excuses for his failures.

Joe is the tough guy of the group due to his strength, large size, & limited intelligence, but he is a peaceful person, often the one who tries to break up the fights & disputes that break out between Sid, Bob, & Baz.

Baz is the most successful of Sid's friends, often seen wearing a suit or jacket with parted hair & a moustache. Baz is much more openly sceptical about Sid's abilities with women than Bob & Joe, once referring to Sid as being "all talk & no tackle". He is the only one of Sid's friends who comes close to seeing through his hollow bragging & is not afraid to suggest to Sid's face that he is still a virgin, often resulting in the two falling out or fighting.