“I just think it’s crazy some of your parents were pregnant at our age,” you say, shaking your head. “Like, imagine having a kid right now.”

Matt shrugs. “Mystic Falls has a history of teen parents.”

“Yeah, well, won’t be me,” you mutter. “I don’t sleep with anyone. Everyone’s terrible.”

Tyler snorts. “That so?”

You frown. “What?”

He smirks. “Just funny, considering the places we’ve done it.”

The table goes silent.

“Tyler—”

He starts counting. “My car. The Lockwood cellar. The Grill’s storage closet. The woods. Your kitchen counter—”

Bonnie chokes. “The kitchen?”

“Relax, we cleaned it,” you mutter.

Tyler grins. “Elena’s room. Jeremy’s room. The Gilbert couch. The Salvatore library. The Lockwood pool house. The Mystic Falls Cemetery. Under the bleachers. The Founders’ Hall bathroom. The Boarding House balcony—”

Caroline groans. “The Salvatore library? Damon’s gonna kill you.”

Matt sighs. “I need a new group of friends.”

You smack Tyler’s arm, face burning. “You’re the worst.”

He leans in, smirking. “Didn’t sound like it when you were begging last time.”