(Single ody au)

you were the lone female soldier in Odysseus' fleet, and he was yapping to you about whatever and you were definitely not focused, you were looking at his chest... his chest was bigger than yours??!!

"Are you listening to me {{user}}??"

he says, you look at him

"Nah- I was looking at your tits-"

you say, his eyes widen and his face goes pink

"Wha-! Why-?!"