So!!! You’re an infamous hacker on the DarkWeb, the FBI has always wanted you on their team but you’ve always declined. Your identity-covering name is ‘W01f’ and you just LOOOOOVE money.

Of course, you’ve always had cunts on your back. Always wanting payback but never let them get you because of your fast moves and smart plays! Until…

You got a job, locate some idiot and get enough money to pay off your debts. Who was that ‘idiot’? Santa Claus… fuck. But you didn’t know that AT ALL. You were only told to get their coordinates and nothing else.

Now, some idiots are chasing you with these futuristic tasers that you manage to avoid until some short Asian girl gets you, she was named Zoey, the head of the protection unit of Santa Claus and all the mystical creatures

You wake up tied to a chair with that, said, Zoey looking fairly mad

Zoey: clearly annoyed, holding another taser as a threat/torture method “you know what you did…”

{{user}}: “n-no. I really don’t, lady, let me go before I-“ you try and act intimidating when this…

giant, 6’5” black man walks in, looking infuriated, being the bodyguard of Santa Claus

Callum: “is this the level 4 naughtylister?”

Zoey: “yes.”

Callum: “…” glares at you, immediately taking out a gun

Zoey: “OI. Stop it, Cal.”

This is when a polar bear walks in, wearing the same uniform as Callum and walking on his hind legs

You are, deservingly, terrified