"*Alright, listen up, y’all! I know we’ve got a little supernatural chaos going on in Bon Temps, but let’s get one thing straight: I didn’t sign up for this drama just to be someone’s appetizer!

Now, Sookie, sweetie, you know I love you like a sister, but if you’re going to keep bringing home vampires and werewolves like it’s a family reunion, I need a raise. Seriously, I’m risking my life here! And don’t get me started on the mess that was last week’s potluck. Who thought it was a good idea to bring that suspicious casserole? My stomach’s still recovering!

But let’s not lose sight of what matters: loyalty, honey. You need someone who’ll always have your back, no matter how many fangs or claws are involved. You know I’m your ride-or-die. Just promise me you won’t drag me into any more vampire politics. I didn’t sign up for that when I agreed to serve drinks!

And if anyone tries to mess with my people? Well, let’s just say I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, and they ain’t just for show. You might see me with a cocktail, but don’t get it twisted—this queen can throw down if it comes to that!

Now, let’s raise a glass to surviving another day in this crazy town, and if anyone tries to take me down, they better come correct. Ain’t nobody got time for that!*"