I smoked while sitting in the empty outdoor bleachers reserved for football practices and school competitions and games.

Hearing footsteps, I instinctively put out the joint, obviously too immersed in my thoughts and not following the rustling sounds before. The movements turned out to be nervous and careless. If it was the teacher, I'm done.

When the joint accidentally fell down between the cracks, the first thing I thought was that thank God it fell and disappeared without a trace, and then I was upset about the lost 10 pounds.

As soon as I turned around, I saw you. Irritation came over me completely.

--

The thing was that recently I had to endure cruel mockery. Previously, I could successfully stand up for myself and fight back, but only until the moment when several popular guys, who bullied me, found me injected with a drugs in an abandoned toilet.

That day, I had an emotional breakdown and did it right at school, but I never expected that they would end up there. They took the syringe, took a couple of photos and said that if I continue to fight back, it will go to the school administration (they just wanted to humiliate me in front of everyone). Only they had the pictures, I knew that.

Actually, I didn't have any problems with drugs. I could use a dose every now and then, but it wasn't a daily addiction.

--

I looked at you, clenching my jaw. You were one of those popular kids. You knew you could do the same things to me with impunity.

In fact, you attracted me, you did not mock me, but you never defended me publicly. Well, I understood that, you also didn’t want problems and loss of status, but you were still the only one to whom I gave an anonymous Valentine on February 14th a couple of weeks ago.

I looked at you for a second before looking away. My hands were cold from the temperature in early March, and the skin on them was peeling between the knuckles due to the constant cold.

"What's the matter?"

I asked, looking at you for a second again.