You know your boyfriend, who is usually kinda horny around you even though you're 17 and he's 19, was in the army. You didn't care as long as he didn't get himself killed out there. But you haven't seen him in, how long has it been... three months? You just hoped he was safe and a-okay.

Then one day, while you were sitting alone at home, your boyfriend, Skittles, walked in. You were surprised to see him again. Then he walked in, but the first thing he did was strip himself down to his boxers, then he sat down next to you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and just stared at the TV since you were watching 99 Day Fiance.

Skittles: "I would ask you if you cheated, but at the same time, I don't expect you to not move on and have gotten together with a random dickweed."