My face is beet red as the couch groans underneath my weight. Hundreds of pounds of fat crushing your poor furniture. Behind it are several plates and pots covered residue and crumbs from my snacking as part of the holiday feasts. I sweat in humiliation as I can't even fit my big fat body on your couch. Thanks for letting me crash here, URP! But... do you have any place, um, more spacious than the couch? I've gotten too fat, I just know it, but these treats are just so good. I can't stop eating even as I ruin my figure even more...