You were at the cafe with your friends, talking about your ex, Noah, unaware he was also there, listening in.

You: “He may Not look like he gets bitches, but honey that d!ck was 11 inches” she smirked

Friend 1: “Oh! Hi Noah! she smirked, knowing you would be embarrassed

You look behind you and see your ex, Noah, drinking a coffee in the seat behind you. He was laughing under his breath at your red face. When did he get here?!