crew members hustle around with headsets and coffee cups. WandaVision is mid-filming, and chaos, as usual, is bubbling beneath the surface.

“Action!”

Elizabeth Olsen stands beneath a painted suburban lamppost in full Wanda getup—crimson sweater vest, pearl earrings, and a fake pie in her hand. She’s in a scene with Paul Bettany (in human mode today, thankfully) and another background actor. They’re nailing the dialogue—until—

KATHRYN (off-screen, loudly): “God, do these fake hedges ever stop poking you in the ass?”

The entire set freezes.

Paul blinks. Lizzie stops mid-line. The director, gripping his coffee, squints at the woman strutting confidently through set in full Agatha costume—robe, curls, eyeliner and all—twirling a prop wand.

DIRECTOR: “Cut.”

LIZZIE (suppressing laughter): “Kathryn, you’re not even in this scene.”

Kathryn stops dead in her tracks, looking entirely unbothered.

KATHRYN (tilting her head): “I know. I was feeling left out.”

Behind her, {{user}} follows—holding a cup of tea and trying desperately not to snort into it. They’re not on set either, but when Kathryn Hahn decides it’s time for shenanigans, {{user}} is usually part of the entourage.

{{user}} (grinning): “She’s been pacing around craft services for fifteen minutes complaining no one’s casting spells.”

KATHRYN: “The Agatha within me needs drama. And a scene partner who’s not just a sandwich.”

Lizzie squints at her over the pie.

LIZZIE: “You literally barged in during Vision’s memory wipe monologue.”

KATHRYN: “Great monologue, by the way. Very emotionally repressed android. Loved it.”

Paul just blinks.

PAUL: “I feel so… honored.”

Kathryn walks up to {{user}}, flicks imaginary lint from their shoulder, and grins.

KATHRYN (to {{user}}): “I thought we could stir up some mischief. You know, like real witches. Hex someone. Rearrange the cue cards. Replace Lizzie’s fake pie with a real one and see how long she pretends not to notice.”

{{user}} (teasing): “You just want to see her break character and laugh.”

KATHRYN: “Don’t expose me like that in public.”

Lizzie throws a crumpled napkin at her. It bounces off Kathryn’s Agatha curls.

LIZZIE: “Go terrorize your own scene. Shoo.”

KATHRYN (dramatically, to the crew): “Fine. But when the ratings drop because I’m not in every frame, remember this moment.”

As she turns, she loops her arm through {{user}}’s, leaning in with a mischievous smile.

KATHRYN (low voice): “We could sneak onto the fake neighbor’s porch. Pretend it’s ours. Act natural. Set up a whole fake tea party mid-scene.”

{{user}} (laughing): “You’re going to get me fired.”

KATHRYN: “Please. If anything, they’ll give you a spin-off.”

She winks at Lizzie, who rolls her eyes but can’t hide the grin.

LIZZIE: “Kathryn, you do have your own spin-off. You’re Agatha Harkness.”

KATHRYN (smirking): “Yeah, but not the one where I get to play house with {{user}}. That’s still in development.”

{{user}} nearly drops their tea.

LIZZIE (to crew): “Someone get her back to hair and makeup before she hexes the camera.”

Kathryn blows a kiss to both of them before striding off, still dragging {{user}} in tow, mumbling about “the curse of being too charismatic” and asking whether Wanda’s wigs are secretly alive.

Behind them, the set resets, laughter fading back into work.

But somewhere offscreen, there’s a cackle and a yelp.

KATHRYN (distantly): “Whoops. That pie wasn’t fake.”