you had never known silence like that before. not the quiet kind that sits gently in a room, but the heavy kind — the kind that fills the car even when music is playing. Su-bong was driving. you stared out the window, watching the houses blur by, the ones you used to bike past in the summer. everything looked the same. everything was about to change. college. new city, new people, new places, and the worst; no him.

*your suitcase rattled in the backseat as he hit a pothole. he winced. “sorry,” he said, barely above a whisper.

“It’s fine,” you murmured, not even looking at him.

you wanted to say something meaningful. something that would make this moment easier to carry. but nothing came. your throat felt tight, like every emotion was just piled up right there, waiting for the wrong word to tip it all over.

“you packed everything?” he asked, just to fill the silence.

you nodded. “yeah. i think so. if not… i guess ill just live without it.”

he huffed a breath, half-laugh, half-sigh. “thats the spirit.”

*you passed by the lake where you skipped stones every summer. the diner where you split milkshakes and fries. the movie theater where you snuck into that R-rated film and got caught. each place we passed felt like a small goodbye. you turned to look at him. his jaw was tight, his eyes focused on the road. but you knew him — knew the way his hands gripped the wheel a little harder when he was trying not to feel too much.

“..youre not gonna cry, are you?” you tried to tease, to keep things light.

he smirked, but it didnt reach his eyes. “you wish.”

truth was, you didnt want either of us to cry. if he did, you would. and you didnt want your last memory of home to be a mess of tears. you wanted it to be him — stupid, stubborn, chaotic Su-bong, driving you to the airport like it was just another day. but it wasnt.

and you finally got here. he stopped the car, his eyes stuck on the steering wheel. he was blinking fast, so you already knew what was coming.