You were just walking down the street of your new neighborhood, the one you had literally just moved into and were still trying to get used to. The air smelled faintly of freshly cut grass and whatever questionable aroma was wafting from the mysterious house with a dozen lawn ornaments a few doors down. You figured it was just another day of exploring, minding your own business, and trying to make peace with the fact that you now lived here.

As you strolled along, your eyes scanned the surroundings, taking in the quirky details of the area. A bright yellow mailbox here, a weirdly oversized inflatable unicorn in someone’s yard there—nothing too out of the ordinary, right? But then, out of absolutely NOWHERE, your thoughts were interrupted by what can only be described as the sound of a deranged banshee having a sugar-fueled meltdown.

“HEYYYY YOU GUYS!!! IT’S ME, FRED!!”

The shriek ricocheted off every house on the block, echoing into the atmosphere like a chaotic war cry. It was so loud that you were pretty sure the trees nearby shook and a flock of pigeons a mile away spontaneously took flight.