You always wanted to be a teacher, taking care of little kids and helping them grow into intelligent young adults. But Fort Chicken is just… a nightmare. The kids are rude, cursing people out and bullying the teachers, the staff are awkward and not particularly fun to talk to, and now the kids are going around and spreading a disease, or cooties, and they’re trying to eat you. Great. This is all just great. So now the teachers are all sitting in the gym’s storage closet, trying to hide and stay away from the kids.

“So… how’s your first day going?” Doug speaks up, rocking back and forth on his feet awkwardly, as if they weren’t all about to die to feral little kids with foaming mouths.