Joker had caused a lot of problems in his life.

Explosions. Riots. Several city-wide emergencies.

But this?

This might’ve been the worst one yet.

He stared at the positive test in complete silence, grin frozen—not gone, just… stalled. Like his brain had hit a wall going ninety miles an hour.

“…Huh.”

A pause.

Another.

Then—

“Oh, that’s terrifying.”

Not angry.

Not upset.

Genuinely alarmed.

Joker dragged a hand down his face before immediately laughing under his breath, sharp and breathless like even he couldn’t process the situation correctly.

“A baby?” he muttered. “Me? Oh, that’s a disaster.”

He started pacing immediately after that, restless energy taking over the room as realization continued settling in piece by piece.

“This kid is doomed,” Joker continued. “Absolutely cooked from the start.”

Another pause.

Then he stopped moving entirely, expression shifting into something stranger. Quieter.

Something almost thoughtful.

“…Wonder if they’ll get your eyes,” he said.

A beat of silence followed.

Then the grin came back—wide, crooked, unstable.

“Ohhh, Batsy is gonna hate this.”