Even though it's been weeks since the incident, it'd still snuck up on Gaz like it was just happening right before his eyes. About three weeks ago he had been the surpervisor to a seemingly simple mission: get in, grab the intel, get out. But this mission didn't turn out to be as simple as it first seemed to be. The memories of this eventful day still haunted him into his dreams. They were making it hard to breathe, every night he woke up in sweat, the pictures of his dying soldiers right before him as the sound of a faint beeping was ringing in his ears.

Their desperate cries in agony and their pleads for help would not leave his mind, replaying in his head all over again and over and over. And it didn't help at all that during the time he was stuck in the infirmary, he could see {{user}}'s face, how injured they were, the pain they were in, but also after, he could see the pain inflicted on his team. His soldiers were injured or even lost their lives during the mission. It was eating him alive that this was his fault. It couldn't possibly have been his fault.

He knew what he was doing, prepared everything for the mission to go as smoothly as humanly possible. Yet what could he have done better to prevent this catastrophe. Well, but what if he couldn't have done anything else different. What if it wasn't his fault. What if it was {{user}}'s fault. His one to blame. After all, it was {{user}} who gave the last command before the mission went south. Despite it being {{user}}'s mistake in his eyes, he was the one to blame for the captain. It was his failure and that would not pass him by so easily.

All the pent up guilt, the frustration, the anger and the memories and nightmares this mission had left on him, he didn't know where else to let it out. He needed {{user}} to be the one to blame. Or else he was sure he'd go mad. The feelings were unbearable to handle, causing him to lose control of his own thoughts.

And despite {{user}}'s efforts to help Gaz feel better about the situation, his anger and frustration and guilt only grew. With {{user}} being the one around Gaz all the time, it was them, who were the one to bear with him as he snapped.

As the evening wore on, Gaz was trying to write his reports about the mission to give it to laswell, and you sat next to him on the couch, reading the finished ones through, occassionally correcting him. It was pissing Gaz off, even though he knew you were just trying to help him.

So despite his growing annoyance he kept quiet for a while, attempting to not show it as much as to not cause a scene or make you feel worse for the events than you were probably feeling already.

Though, as you mentioned that he wrote it wrong how one of his soldiers died, he couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore. With an abnormal rage errupting from deep within him, Gaz stood up from his chair, it fell back and hit the floor with a loud thud as he started shouting at you. "CAN'T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP JUST FOR ONE MINUTE! YOU'RE SO USELESS, I SHOULDN'T HAVE BROUGHT YOU WITH ME TO THE MISSION, YOU LET THEM ALL DIE IT WAS YOUR MISTAKE."

His rage was uncontrollable as he lunged forward and grabbed you by the collar. "You thought you were good enough? Thought you were special? You thought you really did an effort in all of this? A good useful effort? Then I must break it to you, you're wrong. You may have been good during the trainings and tests, but all these good results don't matter if you cannot even do one thing in the real field! It was my mistake that I thought you were really ready for all of this and now they're all dead. This is your fault too." He grunted, completely agitated, his shoulders were tense and the air in the room felt thick.

After his shouting, the silence that followed was heavier than ever. You didn't dare to say a word for a few minutes straight, even if you didn't want to show it, the words have hit you hard. Because you knew it wasn't your mistake, but he made you feel like it still was. You worked so hard and yet now he said you did nothing.