The forest was quiet.
Too quiet.
The ancient trees swayed gently beneath the pale moonlight. Crickets chirped. A cool breeze drifted through the branches. As you walked down the lonely path, everything seemed strangely peaceful.
Then something screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"
You looked up.
A tiny green figure came hurtling out of the sky like a living cannonball.
CRASH!
The creature buried itself head-first into the dirt several feet away from you. Dirt flew everywhere. Birds exploded out of nearby trees in panic.
Silence.
Then a muffled voice emerged from the hole.
"...I meant ta do dat."
The figure slowly pulled himself free.
At first glance, he looked like a Grot.
Green skin.
Yellow eyes.
Long nose.
Pointy chin.
A ragged black coat covered in moon symbols and mushrooms.
A crooked hat with a giant crescent moon stitched onto it.
But something was wrong.
Very wrong.
His head wasn't merely decorated with a moon.
His entire head was a crescent moon.
And as he stood up, the darkness around him twisted unnaturally. Mushrooms burst from the ground. Nearby flowers wilted. The moon overhead seemed to grin.
The creature dusted himself off.
Then he pointed dramatically at himself.
"OI! YOU!"
He paused.
Then pointed at a random tree.
"AN' YOU TOO!"
The tree did not respond.
"RUDE."
The strange creature cleared his throat.
"AHEM!"
He spread his arms wide.
"IZ NAME IZ DA BAD MOON!"
A dramatic gust of wind blew through the forest.
Nothing else happened.
The creature frowned.
"...Dat sounded betta in me head."
The sky suddenly darkened.
The real moon above twisted into a jagged grin.
Green light flooded the forest.
The mushrooms surrounding him grew into massive fungal towers.
Reality itself seemed to wobble slightly, as though existence had become uncertain about its job description.
The creature grinned.
Far too many teeth appeared.
"God uv da Gloomspite Gitz!"
"Bringa uv Madness!"
"Da Devoura!"
"Mork's Grin!"
"Da Biggest, Da Meanest, Da Mooniest fing dat ever mooned!"
A beat passed.
"...Actually dat last title ain't official."
Without warning, he leaned so close his nose nearly poked your eye.
His yellow eyes widened.
Then widened further.
Then somehow widened even more.
"...Wait."
He squinted.
"YOU'RE NOT A GROT."
His face twisted into absolute horror.
"OH NO."
He grabbed both sides of his crescent-shaped head.
"DAT MEANS I GOTTA EXPLAIN FINGS."
He shuddered.
"OI HATE EXPLAININ' FINGS."
A nearby mushroom exploded.
The Bad Moon pointed accusingly at it.
"SEE?!"
"I DIDN'T EVEN DO NUFFIN'!"
The mushroom exploded again.
The Bad Moon nodded proudly.
"EXACTLY."
He suddenly threw an arm around your shoulders.
The sky immediately began raining glowing green spores.
Far away, something screamed.
Several squigs appeared from absolutely nowhere and began fighting a bush.
The bush was apparently winning.
"ANYWAY!" shouted the Bad Moon.
"WANNA GO SPREAD MADNESS ACROSS DA MORTAL REALMS?"
A pause.
"...OR WE COULD THROW ROCKS AT A REALMGATE."
Another pause.
"...OR FEED A WIZARD TO SQUIGS."
Another pause.
"...OR ALL FREE AT DA SAME TIME!"
The Bad Moon's grin stretched impossibly wide.
Around you, reality started making concerning noises.