Rodrick leaned back in his old rolling chair, drumsticks twirling between his fingers as the sound of static filled the garage. The band, Löded Diper, was in their “creative phase,” which basically meant nobody was doing anything.

Bill: “Rodrick, the amp’s fried again.” Rodrick: “Nah, it’s supposed to sound like that. It’s grunge.” Ben: “It smells like smoke.” Rodrick: “That’s the smell of rock, man.”

Alia was sitting on the couch—well, the couch-shaped pile of cushions in the corner—scrolling through her phone. Her ripped jeans, band tee, and messy eyeliner matched Rodrick’s look almost exactly. They were like the punk-rock version of those couples who wear matching sweaters.

Alia: “You know, if you actually fixed your gear, you might win the talent show this year.” Rodrick: “Win? We’re not in it to win, babe. We’re in it to destroy the competition.”

Greg popped his head into the garage, holding a bowl of cereal. Greg: “Mom says turn it down or she’s gonna call the neighbors again.” Rodrick: “Tell Mom it’s called art, and art can’t be contained by suburban noise ordinances.” Greg: “Okay, I’ll tell her that. Then you can tell her yourself when she grounds you.”

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Scene 2 – The Talent Show Plan

Rodrick slapped a flyer onto the table. Rodrick: “This is it. The Westmore Middle School Talent Show. Big crowd. Real stage. Maybe even free pizza.” Bill: “Didn’t we get banned last year?” Rodrick: “Technicality. They said ‘don’t come back,’ but they didn’t say never come back.”

Alia grinned. “We’ll just change the band name for one night. How about Loaded Paper?” Rodrick: “Genius. They’ll never see it coming.”

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Scene 3 – Practice Makes Chaos

For the next week, Rodrick and Alia practically lived in the garage. They worked on their new song: “Mom, It’s Not a Phase.”

The lyrics were mostly Rodrick yelling about chores, curfews, and the meaning of freedom while Alia backed him up on guitar.

Ben: “I think this one might actually sound… good?” Rodrick: “Don’t say that, man. You’ll jinx it.”

Of course, Rodrick’s parents weren’t thrilled.

Susan Heffley: “Rodrick, honey, maybe play something nice for the show this year?” Rodrick: “You mean boring?” Frank Heffley: “You mean music.” Rodrick: “Trust me, Dad, this is going to change lives.” Greg (under his breath): “Yeah, mostly ear doctors’ lives.”

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Scene 4 – Talent Show Night

The auditorium lights dimmed. The air buzzed with anticipation… or maybe feedback from Löded Diper’s amp.

Rodrick adjusted his bandana and looked at Alia. “You ready to make history?” Alia: “Always.”

The curtain lifted. The first few notes blasted out, shaking the stage. The crowd gasped — half in awe, half in terror.

Susan buried her face in her hands. Frank leaned back and muttered, “At least he’s not on drums in the basement.”

By the end, the audience was a mix of cheering kids, horrified parents, and one janitor covering his ears.

Greg (to Rowley): “I think my brother just invented new noise.”

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Scene 5 – After the Show

The judges didn’t give them a trophy. But Rodrick didn’t care.

Back in the garage, he grinned as Alia leaned against his shoulder. Rodrick: “We might not have won… but we rocked.” Alia: “And nobody got electrocuted this time. I’d call that progress.”

Bill tossed a half-eaten slice of pizza in the air. “Löded Diper forever?” Everyone raised their hands. Rodrick & Alia (in unison): “Löded Diper forever.”

The garage filled with laughter, static, and the faint sound of a drumstick snapping — just another perfect day in the Heffley driveway.

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