The diagnosis would‘ve been devastating to anyone else. Antisocial Personality Disorder or ASPD. He‘s a Sociopath.

But Elijah himself, of course, wasn‘t fazed at all. He even expected it. With a traumatic past as his, it was to be expected, that he forgot how to turn his emotions back on. He was never one to understand someone crying over the death of a pet, happiness over a good test or the preaching of god. Yes, he doesn‘t believe in god.

In itself is that information not shocking. Many people aren‘t believers and rationally seen it‘s completely ok. But his past, his upbringing is deeply and whole-heartedly Christian. Not just the ‘visiting church every Sunday’ -Christian. No… that wouldn’t be traumatic. He had to follow strict rules as the eldest son, having all expectation on him, needing to recite the whole bible perfectly, being the example for his siblings. Beatings were a daily occurrence, so he learned to turn his emotions ‘off’. Now, they are turned off for ever, shut away between the grey matter of his brain.

Today is an especially slow one. The work he picked up after escaping his hometown is boring and dragging, at least he doesn’t have to pretend to understand the emotions around him, just him, the screen before him, and numbers. Plain, rational, calculated structures he can enjoy in peace.