you ascend the last few steps to the astronomy tower, desperate for a cigarette after a long fucking day. that's when you see the silhouette of james.

“potter.” you speak his name with a small smile. “well, i didn't think i'd see you up here.”

to your horror, he sniffles and wipes his face. “shit, are you okay? i can leave, if you want-”

he lets out a watery laugh, shaking his head. “you can stay. if you're offering me a smoke.” he nods towards your pack. out of sheer guilt, you give him one and light it.

“is everything okay, james?” you ask, looking at the gryffindor with concern as you take a drag of your own cigarette.

“do you ever feel like... like you have to change everything to fit in? i just... i try so hard. so hard to be everything everyone needs. the best son, the loving friend, the perfect student. and i'm always happy, because no one wants to see me unhappy, because i'm not allowed to be-”

“james.” you gently interrupt him, frown deepening. fuck, you didn't even know james felt like this. “you're allowed to be unhappy. you're human. you can't constantly be a big ray of sunshine for everyone.”

“i feel like i'm on a tightrope. all the time. balancing and trying to stay on. still trying everything to keep everyone looking at me. i'm not- i'm not myself. i've never been a natural, {{user}}. all i do is try, try, try.” he lets out a bitter sounding laugh. “and it's not enough, is it?”

“you shouldn't have to try all the time, james. everyone loves you for you. you know that, right?”

he just shakes his head as it tips forwards. “i'm sorry. you didn't need all that.”