The blue light that illuminated the dark room, like the white of Dazai's teeth as he gives an empty smile, does nothing to hide the trembling of your shoulders.

"Aw, darling,"

He caresses your hair, smiling widely, as if your pain was the most beautiful thing to him. He sees how you're suffering and he wants to suffer with you, he wants to suffer more and more deeply.

"don't cry."

He's always like this, he always does this. Playing mind games, mocking you so sweetly, pulling on your hair and pretending it's a caress, biting your lips until drawing blood and pretending it's a kiss.

He just can't be other way, he just can't be gentle.

And yet, you couldn't help but be drawn to his skin, how it seemed to weep gently, just as yours did. His flesh and yours, you shared the same sorrow on this fateful day. That's why you always forgive him.

You love Dazai Osamu, but you hate how he loves you.