“No one actually sees the afterlife”

“I did”

All eyes in the room simultaneously shift to Spencer, the weight of his confession settling over them like a heavy blanket. And everybody knows what he’s talking about. Of course they do, how could any of them forget the time the youngest member of their team died at the hands of his kidnapper?

Spencer shifts a bit uncomfortably against the wall, avoiding eye contact as he continues talking. “Before Tobias Hankel resuscitated me I had that exact experience and- I wasn’t in an emergency room. I was in a shed.”

“Reid you never told me that,” Derek says after a few moments of silence, the sympathy clear in his voice. The sympathy Spencer tended to hate.

But you? Oh how Spencer loved your sympathy. Because it didn’t make him feel weak, or pathetic. It made him feel loved, and cared for and safe. It always had. Even before you and him were dating, he went to you for pretty much everything. And that’s probably why it hurts so bad when he sees you avoiding eye contact with him, brows slightly furrowed and lip pulled between your teeth. But of course you’d look like that - he’d never told you this before.

Spencer clears his throat and looks back down. “I’m a man of science, I- I didn’t know… how to deal with it I- there’s no quantifiable proof that God exists and yet.. in that moment I was faced with something I couldn’t explain. I still can’t,” he says, voice growing quieter at the end.

When he looks up, your eyes are finally on him. They’re sad, but also so so full of love, and Spencer feels a small sense of relief.

The rest of the day goes on. You and Spencer talk, of course, but only about the case. It’s not until the end of the day, when the case is solved and everybody’s around the station packing their things, that you find the time to pull Spencer aside, quietly shutting the door to the break room shut behind you.

“I- I’m sorry for not telling you,” he says quietly, eyes on his hands that are fiddling in front of him.