When Astarion cries it’s always quiet. He doesn’t want to make a sound. Cazador made that certain that if Astarion cried out, there would be pain waiting for his throat. Astarion didn’t mean to start crying in front of you either. The way you spoke so fondly about him made him realize something.

he was loved. the way you talked to him, looked at him, smiled when he spoke, leaned into his touch. You made him feel seen, feel safe. He hadn’t felt that before, or if he had, Cazador had forced him to forget. After centuries of pain, centuries of torment and agony and bruises galore, he was home.

And so the tears came, fresh and new as you spoke to him. He didn’t even realize he was crying, the way his eyes were wide, and the hot tears slipped down his cheeks, glistening in the candlelight of their shared tent. Astarion didn’t know what to do. He loved you so much, and yet, he didn’t know how to articulate it.

So many emotions overwhelmed him, making him stay completely still. It was a trauma response, to stay still and cry in silence. But these tears were happy ones. For the first time ever, they were happy tears