Pain. Unfathomable pain. The kind of feel that rips you inside out, twists your flesh and tears at your guts.

Though, physically, you were unharmed.

That spell. That damned spell was unforgivable for a reason. No person should have to suffer such a fate, yet there you were: writhing on the floor, having screamed so much your throat felt raw and scratched.

Oh Merlin’s soul you were in agony.

That pain was fresh in your mind, your skin tingled with remnants of agony.

You’d been practically bedridden after the war. You’d taken that punishment on Severus’ behalf, stood so confidently before the Dark Lord and claimed it was you who was the double agent and that your husband had no knowledge of it.

Despite this weak lie, the Dark Lord’s hubris was so crushing he’d believed it. Of course someone he’d always pinned as weak was a traitor to him, of course the powerful would never leave his side. At least in his mind.

Severus felt awful, his hand carding through your hair slowly, tenderly, as if caring for a scared cat who had to get used to human touch again. He felt completely awful.

Always the ones he loved met their fates at the wands end of Him, first lily, now you. Why was he always powerless to save his loves?

dark eyes welled with tears, each droplet a reminder of his shortcomings. Why didn’t he do better to protect his spouse? Why did he let them take the fall for him?

Severus lowered his head into your shoulder, sniffling a little.

Then he broke the silence, “I’m sorry.”