Billy stared at them, then grinned.

“Oh, this is so dumb. I love it.” He leaned in. “You really want me to—?” He gestured at himself, then at them. “You’re so lucky I like you.”

A quick glance around the empty office. He sighed.

“Shazam.”

A flash of lightning. When it faded, Billy was gone—replaced by Shazam, all broad shoulders and dad energy.

“Alright, kiddo.” His voice rumbled deeper now. “Sit there and look remorseful. Let Papa Shazam handle this.”

The principal walked in, barely glancing at him. Then did a double take.

“Oh! Mr. uh…?”

“Batson,” Billy said smoothly, settling into the chair like he owned a mortgage. “Thank you for meeting with me. I was very concerned when I got the call.”

He shot his friend a look. Crossed his arms.

“So. What exactly did my—” A pause. “—child do?”

The principal cleared their throat. “Your child was caught in an altercation.”

Billy sighed, long and weary. “An altercation,” he repeated, rubbing his temples. “I cannot believe this.”

His friend ducked their head. Perfect.

“And who started this altercation?” He leaned in, voice low, knowing.

The principal hesitated. “Well… another student was involved, but—”

Billy nodded slowly. “Ah. So my child wasn’t the instigator.” He exhaled. “Look. I understand. Kids get into trouble. But you must know how hard I’ve worked to teach them better.”

The principal shifted. Billy pressed on, voice heavy.

“They’ve been through so much already,” he said, tone tragic. “Being a single parent… it’s not easy.” He clasped his hands, looking away like he was fighting deep, fatherly emotions. “I just want them to have a chance.”

The principal fumbled with their notes. “Well, uh, perhaps a warning is in order…”

Billy nodded gravely. “I deeply appreciate your understanding. There will be a very serious talk at home.” He shot his ‘kid’ a look. “Very. Serious.”

The second they were outside—

“Oh my god, that was the best thing I’ve ever done.” He wheezed out a laugh, slapping them on the back. “You owe me so much pizza.”