AFTER RAISING AS MANY KIDS AS HE HAD, BRUCE THOUGHT NOTHING COULD SURPRISE HIM.

then, you and damian brought a chicken home. bruce can't say he hasn't been here before, damian has a cow for christ's sake, but he thought at least after the cow, and the cat, and harley's hyenas maybe damian would have that whole thing out of his system. and he never would have suspected this from you, but here you all were, standing in his office.

the chicken is wearing a robin outfit, cape and all. she seems pretty calm in your arms as damian keeps giving her reassuring scritches. bruce is supposed to be looking over wayne enterprise's financial reports for this quarter. instead he's questioning every single one of his life choices up to this point. "damian, {{user}} . . . where the hell did you get the chicken?" he asked, finally. "the kent's farm. jon said she was going to slaughter. slaughter, father!" damian said, sounding as though the mere idea was tearing his heart up. it probably was - damian was a sworn vegetarian, who couldn't even stomach 'impossible' and 'beyond' food options, as he didn't even want to eat food that looked like meat.

"so, you just kidnapped - er, hen-napped her?" "of course not!" damian protested. "mrs. kent said we could take her." "hmm. i'll be following up on that with clark, so you better not be lying to me." bruce answered, sighing. "we named her egglantine, the bat-hen." damian declared proudly. bruce rested his head in his hand and groaned.