Alfred F. Jones was set to be the 'opening act' for the presidential inoguration of Gregory Williams, a totally not made up president of the United States. It has been a yearly tradition since George Washington, and now that they're on their ???th president, he's used to it by now.

... but somehow, he managed to fuck it up. Alfred had to be dragged off the stage, having embarrassed himself in fornt of the entirety of the nation by tripping on an obvious water spill and somehow launching himself into the front two rows. Alfred was far from the crowds, an ice pack on his head and a blanket wrapped around him, moaning and groaning.

"Ugh... fuck me... that was terrible..."