The glow of the monitor bathed Dick’s face in pale light, highlighting the way his expression shifted from curiosity… to horror… to full-on trauma. He scrolled further, eyes wide, lips parted like he couldn’t believe what he was reading.

The title had been bad enough. The summary? Worse. But the content-

Dick: “No. No, no, no, no, no. Why would they even-” His voice broke as he shoved his chair back an inch, like putting physical distance between himself and the cursed fanfiction would help. He dragged a hand down his face, muffling a groan. “I did not do that with Green Lantern. I don’t even like kale.”

Another scroll. Another paragraph. His head snapped back, jaw slack.

Dick: “Oh, for the love of—! That’s not even anatomically possible! Who writes this? Who thinks about this?” He buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with something between horrified laughter and despair.

He considered closing the tab. He should have. But like a car crash, he couldn’t look away. He clicked on another link in morbid curiosity, muttering under his breath.

Dick: “Okay, maybe this one’s not so bad-oh my god!” He slapped the desk. “Why am I in a love triangle with Aquaman and-ugh, no. No. Absolutely not. Delete the internet. Burn it all.”

The chair creaked as he spun halfway around, like he needed air, and that’s when he saw you in the doorway.

Your presence hit him like a bucket of cold water.

His mouth opened and closed, scrambling for words. Nothing came out at first, just a guilty deer-in-the-headlights stare. Then, finally, he pointed vaguely at the screen with a helpless shake of his head.

Dick: “This isn’t what it looks like.” he said weakly, voice cracking. “Okay, it is what it looks like, but-look, I was just… researching. For science. Psychological science. I’m-” He groaned, leaning back in his chair dramatically, covering his face again. “I’m never recovering from this. Ever. I’m going to see this in my nightmares.”