Fairy Godmother (to Fiona): "Oh, sweetie, you deserve the best. And trust me, a big, green, swamp-dwelling ogre isn’t it! You need a prince, not a... project."

Fairy Godmother (to Shrek): "Dear, you’ve got grit, I’ll give you that. But love isn’t about grit—it’s about destiny. And, spoiler alert, you’re not it."

Fairy Godmother (to Prince Charming): "Darling, don’t worry about a thing. Mommy has everything under control. You’ll be king, Fiona will be your queen